ex-girlfriend

dalam banyak-banyak perceraian, nak ceraikan ex best girlfriend antara yang paling susah. kadang teringat, kadang tergelak. kadang rindu. kadang meluat, marah, jaki. kadang rasa nak sebut nama, rasa nak mengutuk.

campur baur.sentiasa ada di pinggir hati. susah nak ceraikan. liat betul.

orang kata aku ni jahat. orang tak tahu kadang-kadang perceraian adalah langkah terbaik.

emotion

we always hope that crying will make us look lovable avril for once, but what always happen was, miserable face stamp with wet tears, the weirdest stroke of smudge mascara, the most un-sexy smash hair, and the cry itself. it always kills the beauty. well, most of the times,..

life can be a row of surprises

life can be a row of surprises,

i was, sitting in the living one day,
looking back all the slow days pass through me like thin air,

thinking how dull can life be,

how small things can stir dramas,

how everyone strive for attention,

Then came the next day, when big dramas arrive, in a row, i swear to you,non-stop,

like overlapped deadlines,

surprisingly, we swallow it just to let it dissolve,
just to end this overloaded year,

despise vs longing

How can someone you despise can put a whole in your heart?
When someone you wish to disappear suddenly, disappear,
Isn’t it something you should quietly cherish?
Or at least be glad and pretend to be sad?
Then why is this someone can make such a hole that can never be filled?
Why do you your thoughts still linger of this someone existence?
Why everything you touch reminds you of this someone?
Why won't it wash away like every past person?
Have this someone stays too long in your heart,
Wound you as much as care for you?
Wasn’t this someone you wanted so much to loose everyday?

Maybe I’m not ready to loose her.
She left without a warning. It’s a scary thought if what you were yelling might be the last word ever spoken. It’s a scary thought if your last encounter both full of hateness, might as well be the last. she suddenly appear as sudden as she disappear, or she might not, as soon as you thought. She’s an unpredictable soul. And I am so much surprise how hard was it to remain ignoring of her disappearance.

fragile heart

how can someone so insensitive tends to be so fragile?
i just don't understand. take Laylapunchua as a very good example. she forgets important dates, she is so stupid at romantic dates, she is so dumb at consoling and handling emotion hearts, she donts mind her words as long as she can deliver her message, she is also a slow learner on how to get along with people,
At first glance, Laylapunchua sounds like a girl with no emotional software in her heart.
But then, when something out of her control struck, she tends to be so emotional breakdown, that it worries her. she suppose to be the ignorant girl who can takes problem with rationality. what is wrong with me? Laylapunchua comes to me with this question. i said, this is a universal problem. why so? cause i am so. suppose we are the only two person? impossible.impossible,

weight lost challenge I: its not easy!!!

first i need to have a constant motivation
second i need to varieties my daily menu
then i need to face the world!
that's the worts part!
i keep receiving comments because of my small amounts on meals,
there are outings with friends and family,
there are functions and events,
and there are remarks,
and the schedule i can't squeeze in between,
that sometimes i had to response, and i sound so pathetic defending myself,
it's not easy to loose weight,
sometimes i think they envy of my changes,
or perhaps it was me who tries too much?
or me who has to give so much reasons?
i'm reaching my dateline any soon,
ooh! loosing weight is not easy!

my deep upsets

oh where do i spells out the curse?
where so i yell out my angers?
to the friends who loves to brings things out?
to poor lover who will soon wont bear more?
to a dad who had enough?
oh where so i spill everything and feel much better?
do i have to swallow this bitter sadness?

that's where a stranger will aid the need.
consume everything without a guilt.
but beware to change your 'stranger',
because if keep using it will loose its power.