A Noble Career

Mika enjoying bathtime

To those who resigned and chose to raise kids at home- I salute you. Full time housewife plus full-time mom is a noble career. If you think career woman are better, that's up to you. But i don't think leaving your 5years old kid to a babysitter half of the day make you better than the full time mom. So i have actually been looking seriously into this matter (I mean surfing the internet). And there are a lot of interesting opinions out there. Let me just wrap those with my 2sen writing:

Q: But we need money, stay at home means less household income.

A: Stay at home mom is a valid career no matter what's your financial background is, no matter if you are rich or not. It's the matter of living simplier. When you spend less than your income, you will have enough money.. duh?. Plus, who says no side income? A lot of women are into online business! One of my friend is a successful :) shawl supplier. Check out her website. She's not married yet but that's not the point.

Q: But I love my career.

A: You will love motherhood. Plus, your children are your amanah; your responsibility. Who are going to teach them empathy, respects and all essential things your amah couldn't do? What about his/her religion, who's going to ensure they pray or learn Quran. Who's going to manage their online time and make sure they don't have stupid friends who bring explicit material to show off to his peers (well, that's hard to prevent). Most importantly, who's going to be his/her bestfriend? Ismail Menk, an Ulama' from Zimbabwe (now that's a funny country to come from but that's not the point again-google him and you'll find out he's pretty famous),, again, Ismail Menk is very concern about early childhood education. One of his advice is; "Be your child bestfriend". That's a pretty cool advice. We love our bestfriend, we care, we respect, we listen to their opinion, we even choose the right word when we need to advice our bestfriend. (Some don't). be your child bestfriends, so when he/she grow up, he/she will always be close to you. So if you love your career so much and you are willing to let your child grow out and away from you, and you don't mind if any of they decide to elope at 17, then be it. Now that's harsh but I'm just saying.

Q: But i took care of them, I put them in best school, I make them befriend with good crowd, I take them to park and movies. I make sure they learn well in school, even their Quranic education went well. I did my best.

A: Good!! Next.

Q: But people will think I'm lazy. People will say I'm stupid.

A: If you are not lazy and you are not stupid, why care? If you are otehrwise lazy and stupid, impove yourself. 

Q: But my husband wants me to work.

A: If you believe it's a noble career to be at home, try to talk with your husband. Use all your genius word to make him think. 

Q: But why are you still working? 

A: Well, I'm working toward it, may Allah grand us the luxury of more time with our kid/kids. 

In the end. It's actually up to you. Bak kata pepatah Melayu, "Mahu seribu daya tak mahu seribu dalih"
If you believe in something you'll work your a** towards it.

P/s: I wrote this as a concern citizen, seeing so many neglected children growing old and away from family, committing criminal offences as we can see through the TV.  I strongly believe family plays a big role in shaping the children. Parents are responsible for raising kids. Working and non-working parents are not the real the problem, its the effort that matters. Still, I have high respect for moms who leave career for the sake of the kids. And I believe our society should encourage this.